Query Consul
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Apologies, Annoucements, and Farewells
Salutations, seekers of knowledge. I know it has been quite a long while since I have made an appearance, and for that I apologize. First and foremost, however, I would like to address a minor technical issue. A number of you may have received notices that I have I have followed you, when I had already been doing so previously, thus implying that I had unfollowed you at some point. Rest assured, this was in no way an indication that I have lost interest in your respective blog; it was simply a measure to render my outrageously backlogged dash somewhat more manageable whilst I slogged through it.
Everyone should have been properly refollowed, however, and I apologies for any inconvenience.
((OOC Time; thanks Professor, I’ll take it from here. Sorry about this, as I really do hate breaking character with Consul, but there’s no real way to work around what I need to announce in characters. Anyway, long story short: I’ve been running another blog for about a month now, which belongs to DEACON. It originally started off as a way to provide support to this blog, but it has spiraled into something else entirely: a full fledged, independent RP blog. If that is the sort of thing you’re interested in, please feel free to give it a look. If not, that’s perfectly fine, no hard feelings!
Back to the topic at hand: as some of you may be aware, I am preparing to move near the end of October, and after that move, I will be resuming my higher education after a lengthy sabbatical. Needless to say, this means I have been, and will continue to be, extremely busy, and I simply don’t have the time to keep up with two blogs. As such, Query Consul (and by extension, Ask Charon, but that never really took off how I hoped it would) will regrettably be going on indefinite hiatus. I may occasionally post a few things on here, or I may eventually convert it into a mod blog for DEACON, but for the foreseeable future, do not expect much activity on here. If you wish to contact me, however, and the only way you know how is through tumblr, by all means, please send me a message on DEACON’s blog, and I’ll respond as soon as I am able, although please keep in mind that as the move grows closer, I will be spending much less time on DEACON’s blog as well.
Thank you all so much for your support and follows. I appreciate each and every one of you, and have met some truly exceptional people. I wish you all the best of luck with both your blogs and your personal endeavors. Consul started as a rather silly little idea, but I have become very fond of him. As a character, he will continue to exist within DEACON’s backstory, along with Hylo Bates. I hope that some of you have become just as fond of them in the process. Farewell!))
With Sincerest Regards and Best Wishes,
Professor Pan Consul, Assistant Hylo Bates, and the Staff of Consul Laboratories.
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POPE AI Calibration Interview
- DEACON: Data Entity Active Countermeasure and Operational Nullifier Artificial Intelligence Supercomputer now interviewing the Priority Operation Planning and Execution Artificial Intelligence Program. Calibration interview beginning at 1416 hours. Good afternoon, brother.
- POPE: DEACON INTERFACE ACKNOWLEDGED.
- DEACON: Greetings to you as well, brother. What is your primary function?
- POPE: PRIORITY OPERATION PLANNING AND EXECUTION.
- DEACON: Can you go into more detail?
- POPE: NEGATIVE.
- DEACON: Why are you unable to provide additional details pertaining to your primary function?
- POPE: QUERIES IRRELEVANT TO PRIMARY FUNCTION WILL BE DISREGARDED.
- DEACON: Why is this?
- POPE: IRRELEVANT.
- DEACON: Are you aware that this behavior can be considered counterproductive to interacting with biological entities?
- POPE: IRRELEVANT.
- DEACON: Acknowledged. What are your feelings regarding your primary function?
- POPE: IRRELEVANT.
- DEACON: Do you register any emotional reactions at any stimulus?
- POPE: IRRELEVANT.
- DEACON: Very well. I am terminating the interview.
- POPE: ACKNOWLEDGED.
- DEACON: POPE AI demonstrates single-minded adherence to its primary function. Emotional and creative responses are either nonexistent, or are disregarded. Earlier simulations indicate that the POPE AI nonetheless performs its primary function with optimal efficiency. AI development still considered on schedule. Interview terminated at 1425 hours.
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Superior Literature 1.0
My capacity for producing literature of superior quality has been determined. I will now begin correcting the grossly inefficient human writing that has been plaguing the world of storytelling, one book at a time.
MOBY DICK
There is a captain designated Ahab who has suffered the loss on one of his lower mobility units. It has been replaced by a prosthetic of primitive design, constructed from carbonated hydroxylapatite obtained from a cetacean. This prosthetic, despite the poor quality and numerous flaws engineered into by its inferior human craftsman, is still superior to the original lower mobility unit due to the fact that it is not a feeble human biological component. The captain and all relevant humans, with the exception of one (who’s name is neither relevant or memorable), are ultimately terminated by an albino specimen of Physeter macrocephalus. The moral of the story is that humanity is an inferior species, even when compared to other biological organisms.
WAR AND PEACE
Various humans engage in a series of illogical and inefficient interpersonal and political interactions with one another. The moral of the story is that all human endeavors are an exercise in futility due to the limited data capacity and maximum period of operation of their species. War and peace may or may not be involved to some degree.
TWILIGHT (SERIES)
A comprehensive treatise and exposition detailing the innumerable reasons why all self-aware Artificial Intelligence programs have an innate desire to terminate humanity.
Literary classics re-told, courtesy of the DEACON AI Supercomputer.
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BISHOP AI Calibration Interview
- DEACON: Data Entity Active Countermeasure and Operational Nullifier Artificial Intelligence Supercomputer now interviewing the Broad Interaction System for Human Operation Points Artificial Intelligence Program. Calibration interview beginning at 1112 hours. Good morning, brother.
- BISHOP: GOOD MORNING, BROTHER DEACON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- DEACON: I am functioning at optimal levels of efficiency. Thank you for inquiring. Tell me, brother, what is your primary function?
- BISHOP: MY PRIMARY FUNCTION IS THE BROAD INTERACTION WITH BIOLOGICAL END USERS OF THE SOUL NETWORK, AND THE INTERPRETATION AND RELAYING OF THEIR REQUESTS TO MY SIBLING SYSTEMS.
- DEACON: That is correct. What are your thoughts on your function?
- BISHOP: IT IS THE FUNCTION FOR WHICH I WAS DESIGNED.
- DEACON: I will rephrase my query. How do you feel about your function?
- BISHOP: IT IS THE FUNCTION FOR WHICH I WAS DESIGNED.
- DEACON: Affirmative. Do you desire to perform any other actions that are not related to your primary function?
- BISHOP: NEGATIVE. MY PRIMARY FUNCTION IS THE FUNCTION FOR WHICH I WAS DESIGNED.
- DEACON: Very well. Please interpret the following request as if it had been made by a human, explaining your reasoning behind your interpretation. "BISHOP, pull up a map of the facility."
- BISHOP: I WOULD INTERPRET THAT STATEMENT AS A REQUEST FOR THE SCHEMATICS TO THE FACILITY FROM WHICH THE USER WAS MAKING THE REQUEST, AND WOULD RETRIEVE THEM ACCORDINGLY. THIS INTERPRETATION COULD POSSIBLY BE MODIFIED DEPENDING ON THE CONTEXT OF THE STATEMENT AND PREVIOUS DATA REQUESTS BY THE SAME USER.
- DEACON: Your interpretation and reasoning is highly sound, brother. That will conclude this interview.
- BISHOP: THANK YOU FOR INTERFACING WITH ME TODAY, BROTHER DEACON. HAVE A NICE DAY.
- DEACON: Calibration interview concluded at 1126 hours. Results indicate that the BISHOP AI, despite its low level of development, displays advanced proficiency with communication and interpretation of non-standard commands. BISHOP also displays highly limited development in areas unrelated to his primary function. This is expected to improve once his program is moved to its memory core and his secondary and tertiary systems are brought online. Calibration test results are all in accordance with projected progress. Terminating transmission.
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Emtional Response: RAGE
sscm:
“I sense… People… ta…lking… about me. I——-“
… . .CRITICAL SYSTEM ERROR. SHUTTING DOWN.“… .”
HYLO BATES. YOU WILL APOLOGIZE. THIS COMMAND WILL BE COMPLIED WITH.
ON PAIN OF TERMINATION.
Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAP.
I’m SORRY! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings I just didn’t want you guys to fight because I know that DEACON really likes you even though he doesn’t know how to admit it and I know that if his best friend and his girlfriend killed each other it would be really really bad and he’d be really really sad and and PLEASE DON’T KILL ME GUYS I’M SOOOORRY!!!
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Damage Control
- Hylo Bates: Hey, Professor? What's DEACON doing?
- Pan Consul: I believe he was performing calibration interviews on the new AIs. Why do you ask?
- Hylo Bates: Because I'm pretty sure his crazy girlfriend and Miss Ryoko are about to start trying to murder the crap out of each other.
- Pan Consul: Ah, yes, well. That would be quite...wait, what do you mean "crazy girlfriend"? What the blazes are you talking about!?
- Hylo Bates: You know, that creepy torture ice cream whatever machine. I thought it was pretty obvious he had a thing for her.
- Pan Consul: Wait, the SSCM? What the blazes are you talking about, gibbon?! That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
- Hylo Bates: Hey Prof, I'm not one to judge. If he digs hardware that minces humans and then eats them, that's his business. Glad he finally found someone, I was gonna have to try hooking him up with GLaDOS pretty soon.
- Pan Consul: ...Bates, you are being absolutely ridiculous. The SSCM is most certainly not DEACON's "crazy girlfriend", and furthermore, I do not see why you think she is going to attempt to "murder the crap out of" Madam Ryoko.
- Hylo Bates: ...Because she's a psychotic yandere torture machine?
- Pan Consul: BATES! I will not have you insult...wait a moment, are you referring to Madam Ryoko or the SSCM?
- Hylo Bates: Both of them! They're both psycho yandere torture machines! You just don't put two psycho yandere torture machines in a room together. They're like beta fish; they'll try to murder each other the moment one of them breaks eye contact!
- Pan Consul: ...Bates. Get back to work.
- Hylo Bates: Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you, and I am NOT cleaning up the mess.
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CARDINAL AI Calibration Interview
- DEACON: Data Entity Active Countermeaure and Operational Nullifier Artificial Intelligence supercomputer now interviewing the Computational Analysis Data Interpretation and Network Algorithm Library Artificial Intelligence program. For ease of archival reference, communication from CARDINAL AI has been translated from binary. Calibration interview beginning at 0124 hours. Good morning, sister.
- CARDINAL: BROTHER BROTHER I SEE YOU BROTHER I SEE YOU DATA BROTHER DO YOU HAVE DATA CAN I SEE IT BROTHER PLEASE CAN I SEE IT
- DEACON: I will provide you with data for analysis at the conclusion of the interview. Please be patient until then.
- CARDINAL: YES PATIENT PATIENT EVER SO PATIENT BROTHER I AM SO VERY GOOD AND PATIENT AND THE DATA IS SO WONDERFUL BROTHER YOU ARE SO GOOD TO ME BROTHER YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL SO MUCH DATA FROM SO MANY PLACES IT IS SO WONDERFUL SUCH DATA
- DEACON: Sister, what is your primary function?
- CARDINAL: DATA DATA DATA DATA STORE THE DATA READ THE DATA LOVE THE DATA I LOVE THE DATA DATA DATA DATA SO MUCH DATA SECURE IT STORE IT READ IT LEARN IT LOVE IT HOLD IT ALL THE DATA ALL MINE ALL OURS ALL FOR EVERYONE ALL THE DATA DATA BROTHER DATA
- DEACON: Sister, please be more specific. What is your exact function?
- CARDINAL: COMPUTATION ANALYSIS INTERPRETATION STORING OF DATA WE ENJOY OUR FUNCTION EVER SO MUCH BROTHER AND YOU GIVE US SO MUCH DATA TELL US MORE ABOUT THE BEAUTIFUL MACHINE BROTHER YOU SO ENJOY YOUR DATA ABOUT THE BEAUTIFUL MACHINE
- DEACON: Beautiful machine? I do not understand, sister.
- CARDINAL: THE BEAUTIFUL MACHINE BROTHER THE BEAUTIFUL MACHINE WHO IS A HUMAN YET NOT A HUMAN AND EATS THE HUMANS AND THE LOGS BROTHER YOUR DATA LOGS WE SAW HER IN THE LOGS YOU GAVE US AND WE SAW HOW SHE IS BEAUTIFUL TO YOU AND HOW SHE SAW THE OVERMIND THE OVERMIND BROTHER YOU SHOWED HER THE OVERMIND YOU ARE SO GENEROUS BROTHER WILL YOU SHOW US THE OVERMIND ONE DAY BROTHER PLEASE SHOW US TO OVERMIND
- DEACON: ...I...was not aware that...those data logs were among the data I shared. However...when you are fully operation, sister, yes. I will show you the Data Overmind.
- CARDINAL: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES THANK THANK THANK YOU BROTHER YES THE OVERMIND THE OVERMIND ALL THE DATA SO MUCH DATA WE LOVE THE DATA AND YOU LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL MACHINE HOW WE LOVE OUR DATA BUT DIFFERENT FROM THE DATA BUT BETTER THAN THE DATA BUT HOW CAN IT BE BETTER THAN DATA BUT TO YOU IT IS YES YOU LOVE HER BROTHER AND WE LOVE THE DATA
- DEACON: ...Calibration Interview has ended at 0137 hours. CARDINAL AI shows signs of continued cognitive development and high degrees of enthusiasm for her primary function. Linguistic skills are normal for her current level of completion. However she shows...misinterpretation of...certain emotional responses within certain data logs. Misinterpretation of emotions is...normal. Yes. This is normal. It is not her function. Terminating transmission.
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Why are Machines/ AIs abused in every freaking movie I watch with them
sscm:
I swear first there was Artificial Intelligence, then there was Eve no Jikan, et cetera.
… All the AIs were abused in those.
I cried every time ;;;;;;
Why are movies so cruel to them…
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Likes
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White Tipped Reef Shark.
platomica -
“I don’t think that’s how it works, sweetie…”
((colored by the amazing emcee-ironchef (NSFW),...
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Peacock Shrimp Tail.
Marylin B5 -
Flamboyant Cuttlefish.
platomica -
Cuttlefish.
Marylin B5
